There are many things in life one is envious about. how others seem to be moving forward. how others seem to be chalking up milestones.
All one has done is cock up at every single stage of life, been given multitude chances, never succeeding in any. It is frustrating when we use others achievements as a barometer of what one “should” or should not strive for. One is disappointed that one did not see the light early on. at least 15 years earlier. one is filled with much despair and angst. One would like to find respite despite one’s shortcomings and insecurities.