Digital Vanity

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I’m good at coming up with good titles. Lol. Look what I just did. Vanity at its best.=)

People blog for various reasons. I too, used to have mine. Some blog for fame. Some blog for the experience. Some blog for the moolah. Tonnes of reasons.

I guess I’ll go ahead and be vain and pour my thoughts here. Probably look back sometime later and laugh my ass off it. As usual. Lol. At least it won’t be like the black hole of emoness.

So… what brings me here? Life got me thinking. A lot of “what if”s, and “what not”. Though the first thing that comes to mind is that I can’t find answers to the question or matter I had in mind. Then it keeps me thinking, going into the overdrive state. Thus, getting hungry more often too. Lol. Not scientifically proven, but somehow it works that way for me, at least.

Life’s changed, for the better or worse, ever since I cut my foot. Since then I stopped writing my diary as well (Accurately put after my night shift, but yea). I no longer have a book to keep track in life, it all went back to my head. Like a labyrinth. Complex and intricate.

Throughout this period of time, experienced good times and bad. Odd stuffs happening as well. Who would have thought of me shuffling when I injured my foot and grind a girl lol. Or the not-supposed-to-happen crush on my Manager, liking my intern, and all that. It’s like the first 3 months all over again. Less dramatic, comparatively, but you get the idea (if I’d ever blogged about it here).

Stepping up to take the challenge and responsibility is one thing, tiring is another. Whether it’s worth the effort or not will be another question. The fact that I’m pretty much on my own is a double edged sword. Of course, there’s no barriers to progress in front of me, but I risk the direct impact upon the Higher Order whom will show no mercy upon any mistake or wrongdoing. Lol.

I am also trying to be less of an introverted geek and to a more social-able smooth talker rofl. Ok maybe not talker, chameleon. =) Similar to the magician persona, but gonna bring it up a notch (a few in fact). I like sophistication, but doesn’t mean that it needs to be complicated. That’s what I’d learned too lol.

So work wise it is pretty much just strive and give it all I have. Relationship wise, still ok. I mean friends. Gotta start expanding and increase my market value lol. As they say (or Pei Shan said), Blue Ocean Strategy. Does seem promising if you think of it from the adventurous perspective.

Not rushing, but, sorta mixed thoughts also lah. I admit, I won’t be able to run away from that. Lol.

I guess it’s just an acquired skill. That’s how I got better talking to girls I guess. Make it or fake it till make it. Does sound familiar.

I’d been having these sights… sorta like imagining disfigured and ugly spirits. Popping in my head. Not sure why. However, I guess it’s just temporal.

Maybe also in the process should whine less and man up more. Rofl. Easier said than done, it’s an acquired experience too.

So all in all I guess instead of the “what ifs”, “what not”, or “why” the thought that should be in mind is “why not” and “how”.

I admit that I am sloppy, and left a lot of hints and openings. Lol.

Speaking of which a  lot of things in my work could really be better if there aren’t that much red tapes around… sigh.

I guess every good stuff that I requested or wanted will be just a wish lol. See if it is granted or not.

I’ll make sure I pray hard too.

Till then, I’ll try to be awesome, as always. 😉

— eXPeri3nc3

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