I looked back into the way I post in a local forum of mine for year 2007. I laughed. I actually typed something as such. I laughed at my own childishness and method of spamming. So to speak.
But yet, sometimes time makes you wonder of how much you’d changed, for the better or the worse, in a blink of an eye.
Best part is, you can’t control it. It just happens naturally. Though I’m turning 21 this year, I still don’t feel like I’m 21. As if I was still in secondary school, at least the perception field. Simply put, when you’re in secondary school, this is supposedly the mentality one should have. Why now?
Why the delay in mental growth?
One cannot do anything but wonder sometimes. For me I find Prajnaparamita so far away from my reach. Of course, I’m not really a very devoted Buddhist, but I practice what I preach. Try to.
Then when you’re at the edge of reflecting your past and thoughts, you just can’t help but to think why did it happened that way.
Not that I’m clinging to my past, but to let go of everything, literally everything, is just out of my capability for the moment. Probably I’ll be enlightened if I truly understand the meaning of the Prajnaparamita Hrdaya Sutram.
Now that’s something to look forward to. Lol.
Anyway exams made me reflect on a lot of things. Apparently from the way I see it humans tend to reflect and ponder at weirdest and crucial times, not forgetting life-death situations. Housemate almost died from suffocation the other day. A student got raped and robbed near my area. Exams in 1:30 PM (12 hours away).
Hopefully my brain learns how to adapt to it and perhaps:
There is no ignorance,
and no end to ignorance.
There is no old age and death,
and no end to old age and death.
There is no suffering, no cause of suffering,
no end to suffering, no path to follow.
There is no attainment of wisdom,
and no wisdom to attain.
Thank you Nicole for the inspirational story the other day.