FFT: Miracles

by

FFT — Food For Thought

So, do you believe in miracles?

I still remember one of my personal quotes (yeah somehow rather I came up with it):

I believe in miracles. Why? I make them.

That was way back just slightly after graduation of secondary school. Lol.

What you’re about to read is vague and purely my thoughts, so be warned. If you feel nauseated, Alt+F4 or Ctrl+W now.

Right… so you chose to read this. I disclaimed everything, it’s your own choice.

Back when I was a kid, when I barely know anything, I was exposed to imagination.

Images run wild in my head, really really wild. In whatever I see I observe and see a pattern in them. It’s purely natural to me.

I look at the clouds, I see something. I look at the pen, I see something. I look at the basketball field, I see something.

Lol don’t get it? Never mind you most probably won’t anyway only children with a clear mind and clairvoyant will understand.

So, long story cut short, what I see back then, happened on the time frame after that.

I imagined myself having a new bunch of friends, left by my peers, and started to face difficulties in coping with them (Standard 5 after PTS) when I’m in Standard 1.

I saw myself with my friend heading to the toilet, and a friend ran to us asking, are you attending the *I forgot the name of the class lol* class? Lecturer is sick, she’s not in school, tell the monitor that your class will be heading to the computer lab. (Standard 5, the exact same scenario).

*Weroth I told you this before if you can still recall lol*

I saw myself being naughty and isolated and heckled by my peers (Standard 6 when I commited a crime) when Iwas in Standard 3.

I wished myself screwing up when I was in Form 1 by not doing homework and it reflected when I was in Form 2. (Yes I’m stupid I know lol).

I had a feeling that I won’t get any girlfriends back in secondary school. (Got my first relationship after SPM).

and another list of sidenotes.

So once I visualised myself being in a foreign place… with a lot of people that I never met before, different race, different color skin (back then it’s like hell that I would thought of nationality), gathered in one place, and I’m standing there looking at a very tall white building. I wished to go there in my dreams. (Form 4~5).

Guess what, it’s my university.

Like hell I would make it, back then. Well, “and yet I’m here because I was able to do it”. Lol quote from Bleach. =P

Got offered by JPA Scholarship(interview only la too bad lol), Star Scholarship (postponed the interview when I was in HK having my vacation), 8TV Scholarship (rejected and re-elected me), KBU (FTW la no need to do anything), MCA (Kojadi? Lol) when my results aren’t that great.

But I always have the thought of, when there’s a will, there’s a way, and I really believe that, somehow rather, I will definitely get a scholarship. I believe in it so much that I don’t care about it and just enjoy myself as if I have it already.

Well I got it in the end.

Ah this might even sound more superficial.

I was in Pusat Tuisyen Cheng (yeah my surname lol), downstairs a few shop lots beside. I saw a girl (mel_mel), in the shop lot, and she went back in. I told myself, someday, I’ll know her and we will be friends, definitely.

Mana tau really she is my junior and one fine day when I realised she stays in THAT shop lot, I WTF-ed and told myself “Ohhhh so you’re THAT girl that I wanted to make friends with 2 years ago” xD

So yeah… as to what he says:

What this power is, I cannot say.
All I know is that it exists.
— Alexander Graham Bell 1847-1922

… in which I adapted this policy… “You believe in what you see, and it will materialise”. Something like what Joel Paschall said in Believe.

But sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t… and I don’t know why back then.

…. but I found out the answer now.

Doubts.

It kills, seriously.

Whenever I doubted, say recently, I doubted on doing something, which backfired me later on once I pull it through. Really, doubt makes you stall, and the uncertainty is there, and most important point is, you don’t believe yourself in doing it.

Mmmmm.

Guess I’d done making myself clear.

Lol.

So in short, if you believe in what you perceive, it will materialise if you put faith in it.

AC.

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