Dragging… *facepalm*


Just when I was just about to prove that my theory is correct, I forgot one major external factor. The word “accidental“. *facepalms*

External factors… it‘s like… unless it’s your habit to drag around the page like me, it’s not even visible in blog.

Spent like 3 hours coding Java… around there lah. Almost done with q3, inconsistancy error tho… Now relax a bit, for another few mins then will start again. Sigh. Fulamak >__>

Lilgirl went for her so called PBSM gathering or whatever.

Let the begone be gone.
Let it be ashes to ashes.
Let it be dust to dust.
Let the sunken be sunken.

Now playing — Canon in D Pachebel.

Tired… yawn. Still haven’t studied, still haven’t move out, still haven’t see MR Lotus. >_>

“Knock some sense into me,
Let me not fret nor puzzled,
Throw all of my miseries into the sea,
Then I can not worry nor confused.”

Ipoh Mali Ipoh Mali~~~ Lol.

I’d changed. Reason being hormone unbalance or spiking suddenly. God, where’s your antispike method? (parody of GArena)

At times when we have to fall, we just don’t want to admit that we have fallen.

At times when everything will come to an end, still we just don’t want to admit the truth.

At times when we are so lost and confused over something, the only thing that contradicts is your logical reasoning and your heart. So whom to trust?

Surely, you can trust God, but God cannot tell you what to do. It’s your own decision. Your call.

Heck, God can’t talk to you in the first place.

At times like this all I wish is just a partner… but that’s not I really wanted.

I don’t know what I want.

When you’re delusional, you can see each and every possible way of what’s gonna happen. But that’s it. The only think you see is a bad ending. Your vision is bleak, as dull as space. Empty space. No lights.

But when you manage to open a path in your heart, you can the the road opening right in front of your eyes, each and every step leading you to a brighter path, each and every inch you move, each and every breath you take, each and every time you blink your eyes, it matters.

People often say that “trust no man but yourself.” I will ask them one thing, which part of myself should I trust? Lol.

From that point onwards I have a perception on the brain works in many mysterious ways, just like God.

It sounds like I’m writing a fictional story book here lol.

Think of it this way:

“If you are trapped in a passage, where you cannot turn back nor go front, but there’s a door beside you. You try opening it only to notice that there’s a padlock securing the door. No matter how hard you throw yourself onto the door it just won’t fall. There’s a crowbar beside. The lock is designed in such a way that you must have something to act as a wrench and something to hold the wrench so that when you twist, it unlocks the padlock. Now,you’re left with two choices. One, you choose to be trapped forever in that passage or sacrifice your finger as a wrench holder, but when you twist, it’s gonna hurt and break your finger. The catch is, you’re free forever from that misery once you manage to get out through the door. What is your choice?”

I’m still currently pondering… I’ll be trapped forever if I don’t make the choice to break my finger. It’s hard to make decisions when you’re trapped in such condition. Especially when it’s gonna hurt… imagine the pain flowing down your veins.

What will you do?

Yes, maybe I’ll take a different approach next time, control the external factors.


p/s — If I can survive after the meeting with Mr Lotus, I swear to god I’m gonna keep everything to myself from then onwards.

BTW, feeling emotional and feeling suicidal is a totally different story altogether. I only noticed that recently.

Harakiri… is not what we will do. We should attempt on a once-in-a-lifetime coup de grĂ¢ce on ourselves.

Please help me get over and done with [Addenum – God knows how many times I’d edited this blog post lol]


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