Chinese New Year – Thoughts

Just the first day itself got me thinking. Ya heard that right.

Happy Winter Solstice Day!

Tangyuen! w00t. Gotta make ‘em when I wake up later. Lol. It’s 3:32am in teh morning now. @_@

Oh yeah, for the record, I wrote a Xmas card and it’s on the way overseas. Kthxbai.

 

p/s — I should really grow a pair. Like that also nervous. Gee Gee la.

 

– eXPeri3nc3

Headache

Yes… headache.

Digital Vanity

I’m good at coming up with good titles. Lol. Look what I just did. Vanity at its best.=)

Confession

Ok good no one reads my blog =D

The farewell

Lol wanted to use a catchier title but in the end resorted to a short and concise post title.

The typist

Ok god knows why I came up with such a title for my post. I was thinking for 2 seconds and that came out. I guess it’s due to the fact that most of the time I would rather just speed-type everything and get over and done with. =D Though I still make a lot of typing mistakes with 6 fingers++ but yeah it does serve it’s purpose most of the time.

Gotta practice speed-typing again I guess. Must get the finger position and usage correct.

Back to blogpost.

So I was pretty silent for the past few months, relatively due to lifestyle shift and work. Ups and downs. I think I would rather phrase everything (sum up) what I’d been through since 2nd August 2010 to present (which is quite close to a full year). Today (night) is a full moon too. Damn beautiful.

Here I present you:

One Year Anniversary of Working Life

Foreword: I still remember that I ranted and whined that I didn’t get to rest fully after convocation and directly start work in PwC. I mean, I planned it all along so that I can just chill the _ out and enjoy first before thinking about anything else that might matter. After all, I am still young. Let me reinstate the fact, I AM YOUNG.

Little did I know that I had been dependent on someone else for most of my life (i.e. parents, relatives, friends). Although I’m the only child, I’m not a spoilt kid. I work hard for everything that I want to achieve. However, this little kid only wants to chill out instead of chasing the marathon just to be able to reach the finish line when the results don’t really matter to him. So push comes to shove (being forced by parents either taking Masters/PhD or work) ended up being accepted by PwC and then started working 2 weeks after.

When I got the confirmation call I was DotA-ing at home lol. But I still remember the scene where I walked up to HR and had my interview. That was the first time I saw my Senior Manager and Manager. (The following comments will be absurd but I will try my best to explain why, it will be clear enough to understand further on, for now bear with me)

Sitted in the room, I did 3 tests, Maths, English, and Business. I was like, waitamin, Business/Econs? WTH? Dude, I got a 40 for my Management subject in Uni and 53 for Microeconomics. You give me a piece of paper and I’ll start writing Java codes for you. How’s that? But in the end I guess it ended well and I finished the interview in one piece (well they won’t bite anyway, they’re nice people =D). I still remember chatting with my SM about football when my manager went and got me warm water (this is the part that touched me) as I was coughing sitting under the air-cond vent. I know that they were lack of sleep mainly because:

1. Eyebags / Panda eyes
2. My SM was yawning like mad
3. My M was phasing in space at times

Though they still spend time interviewing people like me =D Lol I remember apologising for taking up their time. Didn’t get to meet the boss (Partner). Back then I took it literally, rupanya it’s Senior Exec Director. @@ Took the personality test too, and surprisingly when I’m under stress my behaviour changes. The graph peaks in the middle, competency level spikes. I remember Jenn saying that her profile changed after working for a year. Maybe I should bug her after 2nd Aug to do it again =D I have a feeling that it will change as well.

ANYWAY…

BODY: Ups and downs of working life. First thing’s first, impression is pretty important. My SM blew that completely. Lol. After I started working, I started to understand why. Consultants/IT Auditors, especially someone at his post, you can’t expect him to appear frosty at all times. In fact, it is a miracle to see him wearing a tie if he’s not going to client’s place (Well I adopted the same practice so yeah XD). Thus, it’s the work stress and load that sort of affects the first impression.

What would you think if the first thing you step into the office department and you see M and Assistant M chasing their time to complete a proposal with panda eyes? Lol. That was exactly the scene I saw. First day itself. I was like, what, wow, serious?

Soon after, I became office boy. Sort of. Help out with stapling, binding, printing, all sorts. Programming also (I really wonder how did this came up but yea created a simple Java calc for the dept which at the end I doubt it was even used at all rofl). I think my M uses Excel for that. Hmm. Yeah. Why would you need that anyway rofl.

Either way, I was idle for 3 months, and CIMB came. So you might ask why was I idle? I was supposed to be working for a huge Pentest (Penetration Testing) client, but the project got called off because of Conflict of Interest (meaning that PwC should not inspect what they themselves had done) so the TVM (Threat, Vulnerability & Management) project got called off. The PT lab still stays, which is still proudly at one corner now. More on that later.

Indirectly, I was sorta conned by HR to come. Supposedly someone from Thailand is here to facilitate and teach the staff, or so I was told. Not true. That was old story. Soooooo yeah. I was idling for 3 months ++ till CIMB Audit Assist came. The bulk of work. First time hearing the term “Peak Period”, and I understood after that. @@

I was working under an AM, which now left for another Line of Service. It wasn’t too good or too bad, but part and parcel of working life. This is the time where I gain my exposure towards serving clients and working out of office. Pretty slick stuff at times (imagine if you have to befriend someone you barely knew and get the stuff you need).

At last, pentest job! Did it for Maybank. I slowly picked and honed my skills from there. A Vietnam Securities firm. Practiced and understood further. I remember doing my first mail spoofing. =D It was fun. Didn’t get to learn WAVA. =( That was when I started reading much much more. Compared to the first time I joined PwC I was like oh well let’s take it as it goes, now it’s more of a burning desire to learn and fuel the curiosity I had in my mind (not that I was damn pro last time also, noob only, still am). Started stalking blogs, articles, forums, Twitter feeds (this helped a lot), built my ring of information, picked up signs and tools of the trade, latest attack trends, methods or ways to perform tests, etc.

I was single, still am. I guess that contributed to the boost factor. Lol. I mean after work I’ll be god damn free. Serious. I don’t stay with my parents, I’m away from hometown, I am pretty much alone. Lonely~~~~ But yeah. I go back home, eat, rest, and face 4 walls. I rather stay later in office so I get my internet (back then I don’t have my mobile internet yet). Oh yeah did I mention that I am the first to reach the department? Before 8am or 8am sharp. Just for the peace and quiet office and use the internet. It was so blissful for me. It’s like, “Oh! Forums! Facebook! Internet! Salvation!”.

Now I can’t be bothered I’ll reach at about 9am. Lol. Which is not too bad. Really. /nods

I think the first 6 months my knowledge hiked a lot. Due to engagements and reading, hands on training. After all I was free (not during the CIMB period) so I keep reading stuff to increase knowledge and understand more. I should have practiced and learned Hangul lahhhhhh. Then comes 2011. The year where it all changes.

I’ll sum up briefly what happened this year:

• CIMB didn’t end well because my AM left and I didn’t do my part well in Aura (PwC’s first year using it, everyone is new to it)
• Fastfood galore
• Late night shifts (1 month night shift during Alliance PT engagement in Cyberjaya)
• Accidents (Car and my leg)
• Crushes (I had 3, still counting — It all happened after I start working, more on that later)
• Travel & Exposure (New Zealand engagement, last month)
• The Reunion (Notts Uni mates came to the department, my seniors)
• Auld Lang Syne – The Farewell (To date, 4 people)

That pretty much covers all of the things that was happening. Minus the SC (Single’s Club) drama.

There is one that I would wanna share though… the not-supposed-to-happen crush *gasps*.

I know I am digging my own grave but I guess there are times when you have to face things and not shove it to the back of the head (the escapist path). Well what does not kill you makes you stronger. I guess it applies well here.

*breathe in breathe out*

I have a crush on my M

Wait for it… wait for it…

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Or at least a more dramatic reply from the readers. Somewhere along the lines of omgwtfbbqsauce.

But yeah it happened. Lol. Right. So let’s see why it is not supposed to happen. Actually it is pretty obvious. Two different worlds. Age. That’s more than enough to justify. Yes you can say that personality differences don’t matter as long as you have the chemistry and compatibility and age is nothing but a number. But I know where I stand. To be frank, I thought of pursuing the crush to make sure that it is a crush. In the end, without doing anything, it sorta hit me in the face already. Lol.

Let’s just say I get to go to NZ because of her. Alone. So I emo also cos due to the engagement’s budget (the fees are really screwed up, cheap labour) they can only fly me in for 5 days for the fieldwork. All in all it was a good trip, I get to see NZ, work there, see sheeps, and went to One Tree Hill and Auckland. Fair enough. Got taken care off when I was there, her sister and hubsand, and also friend of hers. What can you ask for more?

Also, because of the fact that I am pretty quiet in nature now (personality switch since Form 1), I tend to be hidden in the background. That’s why I tend to be good at stalking because no one realises I’m there. Lol. At times lah. But most of the time, even up to date, I will be the last to know most of the things that are happening in the department. I sorta had the attitude of don’t want to get involved into gossips and all but being neglected is another different thing altogether. Not blaming anyone or myself cos it happens all the time and yeah I’m the youngest in the department still (permanent staff).

I realised that I had this silly crush when I gotten jealous when she was talking to someone else. At first, I didn’t realise it. Then as time goes on I start to feel the sour feeling. When I paid more attention to it my body tells me that “dude, you are feeling weird”. So I decided to diagnose myself and see what was I facing. Lack of money? (Yes) Attention? (Yes) Desperate? (Yes) Single? (Yes) Available? (No) Then in the end couldn’t sum up to what was it all about. Until one day I started gazing at her. Longer than 3 seconds. That’s when it hit me real hard.

Believe me I slapped myself in the face. True story. It hurts too.

Then again, she’s leaving soon, in August.

Everyday I’m suffering…~ (a colleague quoted me on this lol based on Party Rock Anthem)

Anyhow… I can only suppress lor. It doesn’t seem to go away. There are times that I was pretty disappointed as to why would this happen to me. Lol. Can’t be helped I guess.

So… I don’t care what other people say (that much), but what she said meant the world to me. Fact is that she brought me up to where I am today. She did her role. Even when she is not my Career Coach, she took over the role. I am really touched by that.

Well, come to think of it there are a lot of times where I was either caught offguard or experience the kindness of hers.

I wouldn’t say that I didn’t had my bad share, but, yeah…

If it weren’t for her I would still be slacking my ass off. True story as well. Lol. I wouldn’t have worked this hard to achieve the knowledge I had today. I could not give a damn on my career path. Now it’s no longer the case. I’m turning into a workaholic.

On the other hand, working alone is quite sad. Really. Lol. I rather work with a bunch of people. At least it won’t be so boring. Working as a team gives more satisfaction. This is no longer like University whereby you would rather solo than to work with incompetent foreign students/rich kids.

… and again, it can’t be helped sometimes.

A bit more on the lab. Now it’s being shared with Advisory. My blood boils because of that. I mean cmon’ man you’re no longer in the department and you still walk in to the lab like you have your full rights to it, hog the servers and room for your work. Get your own fucking lab man. I won’t even bother elaborating the hatred I had for one of the AM that left.

So yeah. Oh I didn’t get the chance to taste her spaghetti. =(( I was back in hometown resting my foot when she invited some of the colleagues as her parents aren’t around. How nice.

Summary: So, all in all, it’s been one hell of a year. Time flies. Clock ticks life away.

I can definitely go on and type more but I guess this should suffice for now.

I am really curious as to who will actually stumble upon this though. Lol.

Till then I should rest or start finishing my coding for a script I wrote for the Department before she leaves. =)

Cheers. Life is short. Make the best out of it I guess.

Saddhu! Saddhu! Saddhu!

eXPeri3nc3.

Ommmmm

MPC is playing Shurangama Mantra in the background.

It’s been a long time since I blogged, and also, write in my diary. Sorta lost contact since my night shift 2 months ago. It’s all downhill from there in my thought & writing process. Lol. Amazing what working life can do to me.

Anyhow, it came to me that events will determine how a particular person react. Also, pre-determined habitual acts will shape the thoughts of oneself today and it goes on. It is sort of like dependent-arising. With the cause in the past comes the action in the present and further chain of reaction in the future.

I guess the only way to tackle it is to change the present and hope for the best in near future (I said in near future as it may not appear in an instant).

So I guess for the remaining month, I’ll stare for as long as I have to. Lol. I wonder if anyone actually reads what I type. I’m not anonymous (at all), but I hope that no one will be stalking (not that it matters). Just that, if I wanted to be safe I would have password protect and all that stuff. If it really mattered. Lol.

That’s what happens when work overcomes reality. You start to get paranoid at times. Security. That’s my job scope. But yet, it amuses me when humans are particularly good at one and one thing only, being stupid.

Look at the recent rally. It never ceases to amuse me that there are such ignorant people out there (I Was following life feeds from Twitter in regards to the rally cos I am stuck at home anyway). Then the country also ran by political monkeys. Quite sad.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Malaysia. I just hate the way people run the country.

I have yet to pick up my old hobby again: Cards and Rubiks. Though I seem to be interested in memorising the keypress for piano. The wedding tone. =D Lol thanks to smrr00. Man her plays are awesome. She plays from what she hears, initially, for the videos she normally release. If you haven’t visit her Youtube channel, be sure to check it out. Regardless if you’re a Kpop fan or not. Link: http://www.youtube.com/user/smrr00

So, I should sleep. Enjoy the last days of potential limitless joy (if only) as well as appreciate the fact that I am not the last to know =) Man I’m getting good at appreciating things already. Lol. Only the acceptance part may need some reworking.

I also realise that no matter how low my self-esteem can go, I am still way more awesome than most people =D True story.

Cheers. God I miss NZ weather and the fresh air. Well, what to do, I’m in the middle of concrete jungle.

Good night. Annyeonghijumuseyo yeorobun! Oyasuminasai minna!

With love,

eXPeri3nc3

Dead for 2 months

… or rather been too busy as well as out of this world. Lol.

Seriously, I didn’t even write in my diary anymore ever since the Alliance Engagement.

Anyhow, this is like what happened during this period:
- Worked night shift in Cyberjaya for close to one month, thanks to that almost turned gay because I face my male colleague like 18 hours a day
- Car accident – an asshole bang me and ran
- Foot accident – cut my foot, bleed like mad, surgery costed RM7k
- Went to NZ for PT for Fisher & Paykel – Just came back yesterday

It’s been hell of a two months. The kicker? My beloved Manager is leaving the firm. =(

That is pretty depressing to be truthful. But things will come and go I guess. It’s just like the Wheel. Always turning unless you break out of the cycle (reach enlightenment / Nirvana).

… and I think I have a crush on my manager. I would really be happy when she’s around regardless. IDK why, not sure if it’s my delusional thoughts, or my screwed up hormones, pity, but yeah. Lol. Either way it should not happen and will not happen anyway. But still, am trying very hard so that it doesn’t affect the better of me.

Talk about early-20s crisis. Lol.

NZ is nice. Air is clean and cold. Winter there. Scenery quite nice. Green. Simple life. So peaceful. Slow paced. But expensive due to conversion.

… and yeah, I kidnapped a lamb for her. I think I’m just being foolish at times lol.

Ahhhh. Whatever.

Gonna sleep. Bye world.

p/s — Life is short. Really. Ever since the two accident I will never look at life the same through those rose-coloured glasses.

eXPeri3nc3

Search and Replace Text with Notepad++ Regex Boundary

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/283608/using-regex-to-prefix-and-append-in-notepad

For archiving purposes. =D